back in November of 2011 i was privileged to go with a group of amazing women to the Birth Matters of Virginia banquet. our local chapter of Birth Matters got enough people rounded up to reserve 2 tables. Sounds fun right? well, to make it even more enticing THE Ina Mae Gaskin was the guest speaker. i mean come ON! i could not pass up a chance to see her in person, and maybe even, gasp, talk to her. this one woman's philosophy of how normal birth can be influenced the women who i met at Birth Circle when i first moved back home 6 months pregnant with Ivy. these women knew how much power there is in birth and how the right partnership of care-provider, birth partner and mother can make or break an emotional and psychological connection between mother and baby, (and really all involved). i truly believe the positive sense of self-efficacy i experienced in the births of Ivy and Jet have helped me be able to conquer other seemingly insurmountable tasks, such as raising 3 small children. and i believe a poor sense of self-efficacy during birth, (ie. someone telling you your body can't do what God intended it to do) can affect the self-efficacy in other aspects of life. (if you can't even birth the child how can you raise the child? sort of thoughts arise, can we say ppd?)
this is a really horrid picture of Ina Mae, i didn't have a nice camera and my phone was on it's last legs.
anyways, back to this woman who changed my life. she has spent the last 40 years of her life midwifing and teaching women that we too are mammals; able to birth easily if allowed the privacy and decency we allow even our house cats. She has a number of books and at the conference was talking mostly about her newest book entitled "Birth Matters: a Midwife's Manifesta." She told stories that she had written about. i won't tell them here, but they're super good.
i had waited until the very end of the conference to go get my book and have it signed by THE Ina Mae Gaskin. i waited patiently until everyone else had gone and there were only a few people left in the building. i wanted to tell her how much her influence had changed my life and how much i respected her work with the women of the world. i wanted to thank her for the positive impact natural childbirth had on my relationships with my children and my husband. i wanted to shake her hand and look her in the eye and tell her these things.
as i approached the table i was nervous but made a joke about how i had waited all day just to get the book. Ms. Gaskin took the book and signed it and i was just about to open my mouth to tell her all the aforementioned things when a loud, wide, and older woman butted in right in front of me and started chatting it up with Ina Mae. then she, ever so rudely, turns to me and says (something along the lines of) "oh you were getting a book signed. here." and takes the book from Ina Mae and hands it to me. then turns briskly back to Ina Mae and resumes her conversation.
if i hadn't been so soul shattered at that very moment i would have inturrupted her conversation and told Ina Mae what i wanted to say. but it was like the wind was blown out of me.
now i'm not one to be star struck lightly. i mean i once saw Eliza Dushku in an Indian restaurant in Provo, UT and that was nothing to me. other than a faint: hmm, she was in that cheerleading movie that all the girls on the cheer squad were obsessed with in high school. and then when Christian and i were in NYC this past fall we saw Mark Wahlberg filming a scene, but i was more interested in getting a piece of birthday cake than oogling with all the locals on the street.
but Ina Mae was different. she actually had an impact on my life. her work changed the way i see the world and quite possibly has changed my life goals,
(i mean who after having a positive, empowering birth doesn't want to share with others?)
i was so extremely upset that i immediately told my husband when i got home.
so to Ina Mae Gaskin, if you're ever reading this humble blog post about my trip to see you, know this: you have changed my life for the better. and although you probably hear it a lot; thank you, keep up the good work. there's a myriad of mothers standing behind you as you blaze your trail normalizing birth in America.





